Suicide of The Astronaut

Having travelled far and wide in giddy outer space, and since budgets can no more support the great expense of
outer space programmes, and now that man has landed on the moon but found nothing much except that the two astronauts have exposed the wild guesses and vain hypotheses of scientists that there were seas and oceans on the moon, which led to the competition to own them and designate names for them by the insolent great powers, who nearly went to war on the earth for the sake of dividing the Moon's natural resources, especially the marine ones; and having roamed around the planetary system, taking pictures of all the planets; and after giving up hope of finding intelligent life, or any suitable place for living there, Man returned to the Earth frustrated and suffering from giddiness, vomiting and fear of perdition. He has now realized the fact that the Earth is unique and incomparable as a source of life, which, in simple words, means food and water; and that the one and only planet to provide them is the Earth. For Man, bread, dates, milk, meat and water are vital. Air, which is indispensable to life, is secured by the atmosphere of the Earth ... etc. Thus Man had to return to the Earth from his outer space escapade.

Back on the Earth, the astronaut took off his spacesuit and put on his familiar one, which is suitable for walking and living on the Earth. Now that his mission with the space corporation had come to an end, he began to look for an earthly job. He applied for one at a carpentry workshop, but he failed the test, because he lacked the essential know-how of what he thought was a simple trade. Also he had a go at a lathe workshop, a blacksmith's forge, building and plumbing. He even tried painting and white washing .. He had not studied fine art or music or weaving, as they had nothing to do with his scientific specialisation.

So he had to leave the city, a frustrated failure, and set off for the countryside, where he looked for work as a farmhand in order to support himself and his family. One of the farmers asked if he was attracted to the earth by which he simply wanted to know if the astronaut liked farming. But the astronaut answered, " The attraction of the Earth decreases as we go up, and our weight also decreases gradually until we get to the point of weightlessness. Then and there we get free of the Earth's attraction or gravity as we call it. But soon afterwards we get attracted by another planet, and our weight begins to increase gradually ... and so on. I hope I have answered your question ".

The farmer showed signs of someone who did not comprehend and looked as if he wanted more explanation; and the astronaut, hoping to impress the simple farmer in order that he would take him on as a farmhand, went on parading his space knowledge: The volume of the Earth is about 1320 times less than that of Jupiter's, and that 12 years on the Earth equal one year on Jupiter, and that the Jupiter spot is big enough to hold the Earth in its centre. You may also be interested to know that Saturn is 744 times bigger than the Earth, yet it is only about 95 times heavier than the Earth.

The diameter of the Earth is about 50 times bigger than that of the Moon's and its volume is about 80 times bigger than that of the Moon's. The pull of the Earth's gravity is six times greater than that of the Moon's. The Earth is about 150 million kilometres away from the Sun, whose light takes eight minutes to reach the Earth at the speed of 300 thousand kilometres per second. The volume of the Earth is about 1303800 times smaller than that of the Sun's; and the mass of the Earth is also 332958 times smaller than the mass of the Sun whose density is 30 times bigger than that of the Earth's. The Earth comes third in distance from the Sun. Mercury is the nearest planet to the Sun, Venus comes next, then the Earth ... etc. Venus is about 42 million kilometres away from the Earth which is about 400 thousand kilometres away from the Moon.

If you had a car that ran at 100 kilometres per hour, it would take you 146 days to get to the Moon. But if you had no car and decided to walk to the Moon, it would take you eight years and a hundred days to get there. I think I have answered the question fully now. As you see, I am well informed in matters concerning the Earth. As soon as he heard the last repetition of the word " Earth ", the farmer became aware of himself and closed his mouth, which had been wide open during the whole story of the astronaut's journey from one planet to another, from the time he left the Earth until he returned home.

The farmer did not comprehend much, but he too felt dizzy because he fell under the spell and felt that he also was coming home from a space journey with no tangible gains concerning his farm. What mattered to him was the distance between one tree and the other and not the distance between the Earth and Jupiter. He was also interested in the volume of the yield of his farm and not in the volume of Mercury. He felt very sorry for the begging pathetic astronaut and had the desire to give him some alms, but he was unable to take him on as a farm-hand.
And so, having lost all hope of finding any bread winning job on the Earth, the astronaut decided to commit suicide.    > Next Book >